Lime Swank. ..

Add the juice of several squeezed green limes to water and sugar to taste…voila! You have lime swank! In the Caribbean this is our version of lemonade…I’ve had this drink so many times in my life, and every time it’s always accompanied with some good comfort food.

While Beyonce in the last week has made the concept of Lemonade making a “thing” that has sparked huge debates on social media questioning the sincerity of her album; is she a feminist or isn’t she? Is it all a huge publicity stunt? Frankly I don’t care! Regardless of her motives, the launch of her album has forced us to have a conversation about women and the challenges we face just being a (black) woman and how we seem to do it with such resilience while sipping our lemonade or swank or whatever it’s called where you’re from.

Some of her lyrics may not be ideal, some may even say she is demonizing women with the sexual innuendos and we could debate this all day…it still does not underscore the fact that she addresses some real issues, particularly issues faced by the black woman and society is finally talking about it.

I watched the album in it’s entirety …well more like studied it and I found I could relate to the issues she addresses. Here’s my take on it:

Lesson 1: We know to make damn good lemonade/swank. I’ve made gallons of swank in my life time…The last two years I’ve drank so much of my own swank I’m wallowing it. I was handed a divorce I saw an opportunity to change my life for the better; I then thought I found love again…then I lost it (him); but I kept on smiling and learnt to love myself and enjoy my own company more.

Lesson 2: We have a voice and should be allowed to use it. As women we are so much stronger than we know and as black women we tend to fall in the trap of having our men speak for us because society has taught us to respect the black man and not talk back to him because he is fighting a daily battle being a black man. But what of the daily battle we fight being black and being a woman? What if we don’t have a black man or don’t want one? Does that make us less of a black woman? What if we want to speak our minds and our men have no issues with that? Does that make him less of a man?
Lesson 3: “Does my sexiness upset you?

Does it come as a surprise That I dance like I’ve got diamonds At the meeting of my thighs? Maya Angelou knew what she was talking about when she wrote these words. We are overly sexualized in movies and music videos. Cameras zoom in and out on our thighs, ass and breast focusing on our physical assets rather than our strength and ability. Marketing 101 tells you sex sells…just ask the television producer trying to sell the modern day GI Jane but can’t sell her acting ability or fierceness without selling her sexuality. Yet if I choose to use my sexuality in the way I want to. If I talk about my prowess to make a man weak in the knees when I get on my knees or to make him cum just by looking at him…I am a slut, a thot, a whore.

Lesson 4: We work just as hard and should be rewarded and honored the same. A classic line in one of her songs in the album, Beyonce croons “I’ve got my own money I don’t need yours.” There is nothing new or groundbreaking about this line. It’s been said and sung before by countless others. Hopefully now society will listen and be aware that women are working hard, sometimes harder than men but yet get paid less and we deserve some respect. It’s been talked about in Hollywood but it’s the same in every corporate office around the world. Then they are the men who perceive that every woman they meet wants them for their money. No one wants your damn money! We may not have as much as you have but we work our assess off to take care of ourselves so we don’t have to ask you for yours. If you want to give, that’s on you. But just stop fucking talking about it like a bitch. You don’t hear the women who are supporting their men who can’t work for whatever reason complaining. ..cos we’re still expected to make him feel like a “man.” Turn the tables. …you’re told there is nothing sexy about being helped or supported by your man when you need help…you are a gold digger.

Lesson 5: Love whomever you want to love. Society should not dictate who you choose to love. He/she doesn’t have to fit a model or look a particular way or age. As long as you’re happy…just love and screw what society thinks!

Lesson 6: Forgive. One of the songs on the album she talks about her relationship with her father and the disappointments experienced with him for her and her mom. If anything this reminded me how important it is to forgive. Forgive your father, the ex, the one that got away, the one you thought was your soul mate until he decided he wasn’t anymore….forgive! This is key to learning to love again, this is key to making your heart a warm place to share with someone else.

Lesson 7: When someone show you who they are…believe them.As women it’s easy for us to be distracted by a man’s good looks, his swag, his ability to not even speak but make you melt. It’s also easy for us to ignore when he raises his voice at us and we call it excitement. Or when he grabs our hands a little too strong. Or when he complains about everything you do….or when he is hardly there. Believe these signs when you see them…don’t hope for your ability to “change” him.

Lesson 8: learn to let go. This is one of the hardest lessons I’ve had to learn in life. Accepting that people come into your life for a season when you want them there for a lifetime is difficult. But holding on to someone or something that is not there is torture. Refer to lesson 7 and you’ll know the signs of when it’s time to just let go.

Remember we are strong, we are invincible, we are women….so keep sipping that swank girl.