Girl in Transition…

I started this blog a year ago as an outlet to express my thoughts, feelings and experiences to help cope with my home sickness. I started it at the encouragement of the person I was dating at the time. I have shared on different topics here and while I mostly speak about real life experiences, I have never openly spoken about my personal life. I feel however, I have a lesson that I learnt in the past year that can be a lesson to others; what you choose to do with it is up to you, if you learn from it…good for you.

I am a firm believer in owning up to your responsibilities, and so it is with full responsibility I do not say lightly…in the past year I allowed myself to be hurt, not once but twice by someone I loved and whom I thought felt the same. I recently learnt, the feeling is not mutual and I don’t want to know if it ever was. I found myself at different intervals of knowing this person feeling like Meredith in the episode of Grey’s Anatomy when she stood in the middle of the hospital and yelled at Derick, choose me, pick me, notice me. Learning that I wasn’t picked, was the hardest emotion to experience, my stomach still tightens at the thought that for all I was, somehow I was not good enough.

I have taken this hurt and converted it to strength to help me heal; part of this healing is to acknowledge where I erred and learn from this for the future. So here are my life lessons from this experience.

1. When a person shows you who they are, believe them.
2. Don’t ignore the signs.
3. Don’t believe the hype.
4. Actions are not enough, words are important.
5. Men and women who have dated can never be friends.
6. If you’re the one who is always reaching out, that means you are an option.
7. When you make up your mind about something, stick to your decision, don’t allow the actions of others to dissuade you because you cannot change their minds if reversed.
8. You are amazing and should not wait to be chosen, you choose.
9. If you decide to cut ties, cut it, move on and don’t look back.

Have I transitioned completely? Far from it! I am currently on a journey of healing, self examination and above all self love. While I continue to be the girl in transition however, I have come to a place where it’s time I step back from sharing in this space. This will be my last post for a while. Until we meet again, be good to yourselves.